darling…

I never liked poetry.

Well, that’s not accurate. It’s not that I did not like it. I just didn’t quite understand it.

Then I met you.

And of course, Rupi Kaur.

 

Am not a poet my love but the first time we kissed you wrote poetry on my lips. You spelt out the letter P so passionately in your scheme to consume me completely. Our mouths drew out the letter O in ohs! And aah’s! In wanton desire. E formed up when you smiled and I smiled so our teeth clicked. Then we laughed. T and R laced themselves in italics as our tongues laced with each other, hungrily devouring away at our insecurities and reservations. Y? Well, why not my love?

The first time you held me tight against you made everything else around me to disappear in the background. Your heartbeat is stuck on replay. A supersonic sound machine I hope beats only for me.

How can I not love such a language? So intense, so passionate, so out of this dimension that the gods send babes on wings to shoot arrows in hearts of men?

Am not a poet but I will try being lyrical in explaining the depths you have me at. Depths I cannot swim through but am not afraid to drown in them either. Depths so unkind, so undefined, no clear-cut path to navigate. No light. The beauty with such an abysmal end is that the only way to look is up. And you are among the stars in their majestic expanse.

Forgive me if my flow is slow but love is patient and its kind, both your kinds. Hope you will love me some more.

If this is not forever, then may the world burn tomorrow for I have you with me right now.

If this is not forever then forever was not long enough so forgive me if I stare at you all day and night as I memorize you, for I have to take you with me wherever I go.

If you are not my forever after then let’s change this final chapter to a learning moment.

If you find happiness elsewhere then please teach me how to, for I had only learnt of the happiness I found in you and us.

If you find one who makes you complete teach me how to empty myself more, for I thought I’d given you my all until there was nothing left to give. So I put my life in your hands, but still that wasn’t enough.

Teach me.

If you are going to walk out on me, show me. Show me how you can so effortlessly when you had promised to stay with me ‘till we gray and old.

I promise, if you leave I’m not going to follow you anywhere. I will not skip tail and jump hoops around you my heart. I will let you go, which is going to be the hardest thing I ever do, for you will have left with the best parts of me.

As we part ways, its gonna hurt.

Always.

So in every city I find myself, I will paint an image of you. Of us. As you traverse this world, off to the next mistake ‘cuz you did not mean it when you said I was ‘the one’, you will find every bit of yourself and of me and be reminded that it has always been me and maybe one day, we’ll have gone all round it and finally meet at the place we shall call our own. Home.

So many Maybes…

But if you are going to stay, explain to me. Explain to me why an angel would clip its wings to stay with me.

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